The McCollumn - 11/30: "Godspeed NASA - you’ll probably need it"

Statistics and common sense tell us newspaper readers trend older demographically, and our paper proves those expectations, which is why I’m jealous of a number of you dear readers.

You, my slightly older friends, got to live the excitement of the “Space Race.”

You looked on in intrigue (and in horror) in 1957, when the USSR launched Sputnik , the first man-made satellite to orbit the Earth.

Could America catch up, or were we headed for a Soviet domination of outer space?

Five years later, in 1962, with a parting of “Godspeed John Glenn,” Glenn orbited the Earth aboard Friendship 7, the first American to do so. We were, apparently, catching up. 

The fledgling National Aeronautics and Space Administration, with its scores of engineers, physicists and other scientists from around the country collaborated to create some of the most amazing achievements man has seen, to not only eclipse the Soviet program, but to land a man on the moon.

And so they did, with Neil Armstrong treading where no one had tread before.

At one time, NASA spending affected every state in our union - and we all worked together so that our nation could both prosper and “win” the race.

There were subsequent Apollo missions and several others that came after them, but the public didn’t seem to take much note any more.

Oh sure, if something went horribly wrong, we all noticed (Apollo 13, the Challenger disaster), but, by and large, space had lost its allure.

We’d been to the moon, we’d won the race; what more did we need to learn from space?

By the time I came around in 1986 (the same year as the Challenger disaster), space wasn’t cool.

Most kids wanted to be a doctor or a vet, while some held out hopes to be able to “explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.”

I was one of those kids, with a telescope and star maps, gazing toward the heavens in search of something more.

At Opelika Middle School, I was blessed to be a part of the “Radio Jupiter” project, and got to listen as sound waves bounced back and forth between our world and the Great Planet.

I was even prouder to learn that we had an Opelikan astronaut - Jim Voss, Class of ‘68. Someone from here had done it before, so why couldn’t we?

NASA kept sending rockets and astronauts into “the final frontier,” but space was no longer alluring, and deficit hawks across the nation began to question why so much money was needed.

Now, we have no more space shuttles, and our astronauts have to hitch rides into space with other nations, even with the Russians we feared for so long.

Programs are seeing their funding cut, and we’re seeing severe job losses and economic depression come to towns who built themselves up with aerospace jobs. If there are no more space shuttles to build parts for, why keep all those people on the payroll?

Educational programs and opportunities to help inspire our youth have also declined, and we see the younger generation slip further away from having interest, or even awareness of, space.

I worry that if funding cuts and program cancellations continue, this nation could dig itself into a hole it will not be able to leap from. We could be sowing the seeds now for a loss of American dominance in outer space. After all, we’re already losing this generation.

We have always been spurred by a belief in American exceptionalism, that this nation is not only among the best and brightest, but the actual best.

By not continuing to invest in our nation’s space program, we run the risk of finding ourselves lacking the tools to inspire the next generation of engineers, astrophysicists and even astronauts themselves, to say nothing of the scores of other children who simply gain a spirit of exploration that could translate into innovations and developments in hundreds of other fields.

By investing in a renewed spirit of discovery, we could see untold dividends in our children’s generation. By exploring and cataloging other planets, we learn more about our own planet - the whats, whys, and hows of the Earth itself.

By venturing out further into our universe, we find an ever-expanding cosmos of stars and other celestial bodies that we never knew existed and we hold out the hope that, perhaps, we are not alone.

An investment in our space program is not just throwing money into outer space; it is a commitment to continuing to support the ideals of exploration and creativity that helped make this nation what it is today.

NASA and its programs represent the best American ideals, our belief that through knowledge, education and hard work, we can do anything we can set our minds to - whether its putting a man on the moon or even kicking off to Mars.

So, again, I’m jealous of a number of you.

You got to grow up when space was cool - when knowledge and creativity were celebrated.

You don’t know how lucky you were. You really don’t.

The McCollumn -11/16: "'Redneckognizing' the problem"

I don’t know when it was that we, as a nation, completely lost our minds, but I feel the need to begin by blaming what was once called The Learning Channel, dear old TLC.

What was once a channel with programming about interesting health issues and the occasional home redesign show now regularly features all sorts of oddities (and, no, I don’t mean the Sarah Palin reality show.)

There are the almost-always morbidly obese women on “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant,” who thought their forthcoming offspring was just an exceptionally large, painful bowel movement.

There’s “Little People, Big World,” which I always thought was meant to make people feel sympathetic to the plight of dwarves, but I generally come away from that show thinking that the dwarf dad is really a jerk - regardless of his height.

Then, there’s the most terrifying of them all, the show that makes me worry about how far ‘round the bend we’ve gone as a people: “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.”

The show, which attracted more ratings than Mitt Romney’s RNC speech and tied Bill Clinton’s speech at the DNC, features  seven-year-old self-proclaimed “beauty queen” Alana, a somewhat chubby child who is prone to spout instantly sickening and captivating catch-phrases like “You better redneckognize” and “A dolla makes me holla, honey boo boo.”

What is cute for eight seconds becomes horrifying over eight episodes.

This behavior is not only rewarded, but supported by Alana’s family, a truly bizarre cast of characters that makes those nice backwoods people from “Deliverance” seem downright folksy and Mayberryesque.

Family game night can include the staple of “Guess Whose Breath,” where a family member is blindfolded and the others breathe in their face until they can guess who it is by the olfactory clues.

This is just the base level of crazy that goes on the ratings flagship “Honey Boo Boo,” where there is no such word as shame.

Why is that a good thing?

Isn’t some shame a necessary thing to keep you from doing ridiculously impulsive and stupid things?

And, I suppose, most importantly: when did sheer ignorance become a valid point of view?

The spotlight of fame has become a beacon for infamy, as “reality television” has truly only shown us the seedy underbelly of what we’ve become as a society.

We cheapen the institution of marriage by shows like “The Bachelor,” “Joe Millionaire,” or the grandfather of them all, “Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?” We encourage backstabbing and sneakiness as necessary human traits in shows like “Survivor” and “The Apprentice.” We even encourage the voyeurism and lack of privacy our age is known for in shows like “Big Brother” and “Glass House.”

I’m not yet sure what the “Honey Boo Boo” means for us and our society in these perilous times, but, just in case, we should at least “redneckognize” the problem is here, and it ain’t leavin’ any time soon.

Supplemental McCollumn - The Biennial Congressional Endorsement

W. Fred Woods: Write-In Candidate

for the AL 3rd Congressional District

Every two years, voters across this great land of ours go to their polling places to cast their votes on a plethora of candidates and issues vital and important to their respective locales.

This year is no different. In addition to the attention-grabbing presidential race, voters here in Lee County will cast their ballots on statewide offices and amendments that could preserve the Forever Wild program, limit legislative pay and stop the annexation of small towns by their larger neighbors (to name a few).

We’re also obliged to pick between two candidates for our U.S. congressional district, where the Hon. Mike Rogers (R-Anniston) will take on Lee County Commissioner John Andrew Harris (D-Opelika) to defend the seat Rogers has held since 2003.

In the last election, feeling that neither candidate deserved the voters’ support, I endorsed former OHS athletic director and head football coach Spence McCracken for the job. The platform of “God bless America and God bless the Dogs” garnered the coach a few dozen write-in votes (more than I expected, to be honest).

This year, I find myself in a similar situation - neither Rogers nor Harris seems completely deserving of the job that they seek - and am forced to come up with another write-in candidate who could better serve the needs and desires of the AL 3rd.

After much prayer and soul searching (and blindfolding myself to throw a dart at index cards with potential candidate names on them), I believe I’ve found the guy:

William Fred Woods, editor of the Opelika Observer and a stalwart employee of the United States Department of Agriculture for decades.

Here’s a bit of bio, courtesy of an article written on Woods by Ann Cipperly:

“Woods’ diverse career included being an extension specialist, researcher, a policy advisor for both U.S. and foreign government and a national program leader for public policy for research and extension education. Over the years, he received many honors including the SAEA Lifetime Achievement Award, the K.J. Hildreth Award for Career Achievement in Public Policy Education and the Woods Award for Excellence in Public Policy.”

Read that last part again: The Woods Award for Excellence in Public Policy, as in the W. Fred Woods Award. They named the award for excellence after him; enough said, right?

Woods has served with distinction in Armenia after the fall of Communism, helping the Armenian government create and develop its agricultural policy.

He's helped craft portions of our tax code, and once even had to help IRS officials figure out how to implement a tax credit for farmers Woods helped develop.

He’s spent his entire career working to help bridge the gap between policy and practice, and has the ability to explain complex documents and figures as if he were discussing the latest sports scores.

I’m proud to get to work with the man every single day, and I know that if we send Woods back to Washington, we’ll be sending a man who can cut through the bullcrap and idiocy that currently plagues our nation’s capitol.

He wouldn’t put up with falsities or misinformation from congressional colleagues; he speaks truth and expects others to act the same.

He’s worked across the aisles for years in his roles with the USDA, and could help bring a much-needed spirit of bipartisan cooperation back to the “people’s chamber.”

Of course, when I asked Woods if he would mind being the McCollum-backed write-in this year, he demurred and pulled a William T. Sherman/Calvin Coolidge/Lyndon Johnson move, saying “If drafted, I will not run; if nominated, I will not accept; if elected, I will not serve.”

Well...

Even if Woods stays true to his threat, I’m left to genuinely believe even no representation whatsoever would be better than the choices we have.

Fred Woods for Congress: Let’s Cut the Crap and Work Together.

Works for me.